You know you have senioritis when…

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Elton Ho
Copy Editor

– Your grades are slipping away faster than electric eels on banana peels. In the middle of an ice rink. Coated in grease.
– The only thing getting you out of bed in the morning is the thought of coming home after school ends.
– As your parent drives you to school, your eyes are locked outside the window. You’re blinking “Get me out of here” in Morse Code to the other drivers.
– You shed a single tear when the 7:45 a.m. bell rings. Every day, you know it’s coming, but you still cry every time.
– You’re bawling by 7:50 a.m.
– “Is second period almost over?” “Dude, it’s been 15 minutes.”
– You pass by a friend on the way to third period. You don’t smile. You don’t nod. You walk by, stone-faced, like the zombie you are.
– If you have to analyze Macbeth one more time in English class, your cauldron’s going to bubble over. “Life’s but a walking shadow” indeed.
– “Wait, we have a test today?”
– You’re tearing up again as 2:41 p.m. approaches. This time, it’s tears of triumph.
– When the bell finally rings at the end of the day, you almost burst out in a dance number. You have to stop yourself from singing out “What Time Is It?” from High School Musical.
– Your zeros on PowerSchool are multiplying quicker than any pimples you’ve ever had in freshman year.
– Your motivation is currently on its way down to the center of the Earth. You gaze into the abyss and the abyss gazes back.
– “What’s the point of sleeping when I’ve been dead inside for months?”
– You’re assigned to write a list of senioritis symptoms a month in advance of the deadline. You still finish it late.

Diagnosis — If you show:
0-1 symptoms: I don’t believe you. Let’s be real, you didn’t really do the reading, did you? Don’t be ashamed, we’ve all been there.
2-5 symptoms: Mild case of senioritis. You’re hanging in there quite nicely!
6-10 symptoms: Typical case of senioritis. I know it’s rough now, but there’s definitely hope for you: read the rest of the page to find your cure.
11-14 symptoms: Severe case of senioritis. You are not alone! There’s still time to find help before Prom and your college admissions disappear in front of your eyes.
15 symptoms: Oh my. Oh dear. It’ll… be okay. We’re here for you, buddy.