Cat’s Cradle: Apparent Affection

CATHERINE CHIANG
Opinions Editor

Lately, my parents have been employing not-so-subtle tactics to sabotage my plans to attend college far, far away. Gesturing at the bright California sun, they say, “The weather on the East coast won’t be this nice.” They give me more chores, telling me that they’re “preparing” me for college life without them, especially if I’ll be far away.
Unfortunately for them, I’ve seen through their subterfuge. I realized long ago that these are simply thinly veiled attempts to keep me closer to home. And honestly, who can blame them?
But in all seriousness, my parents’ ineffective persuasion is proof that they’ll miss me next year. It’s evidence of their love for me. And in an Asian household, this is as much of an “I love you” as I’ll get.
Growing up, I never experienced the kind of love in family sitcoms. Hugs are rare and outright proclamations of love rarer. Yet, I have never doubted my parents’ affection for me. Instead, I’ve learned to find evidence of their love in the most mundane things they do (and, yes, that includes their clumsy attempts to keep me within 50 miles of them for my entire life). It’s in how my mom remembers to give me medicine at night when I’m sick, and how my dad pops into my room to offer well-meaning, often confusing advice. It’s how even though they tell me how great my cousins or their friends’ children are, they brag about me to others.
I know my parents don’t display affection, which is the case in many Asian families. It’s simply not part of my culture. But family is, and lack of overt affection doesn’t make our love less strong. After all, when I asked my parents if they would miss me next year, they gave up the pretense and admitted that yes, they will.