Don’t Stake Until You See the Whites of Their Eyes!

Opinions Editor

My block is a battlefield. No, really, it is. Instead of swords, guns and nuclear bombs, my neighbors decided on a more symbolic weapon of choice: yard signs.

The tensions began after the Republican National Convention, when an empty chair and a “Vote Romney” sign suddenly appeared on the corner house lawn in a lone tribute to the Republican candidate. Other lawns saw it as a declaration of war and Obama’s white-teeth visages soon began popping out of grass—like daisies!

As Election Day nears, the signs inch closer and closer to each other, as if representing their owners in this political stare down. What was initially a merely innocuous way to express political opinion has now become artillery in this quasi-war.

However, as much as the bodiless conflict represents larger issues at hand of how Romney’s conservative values or Obama’s liberals might govern America by 2013, I cannot help but chuckle and remember Hugh Neutron and Ebenezer Wheezer in “Lilliputian vs. Blefuscudian” warfare over crabgrass.