The Flavors of the Weak


Staff Writer

Your future children won’t want to hear about how perfect your Prom night was or how you had the best friends. No, the stories they will want to know about are the ones that scarred you for life and taught you a lesson. Face it, the knives that cut you up are the most valuable weapons you can have stored in your inventory. All of those nights of tears of betrayal have finally taught you to not trust that one friend. After being teased about your swag, you now know that imitating a penguin’s waddle is neither funny, nor comfortable. Learning experiences: They come in different flavors.

Nothing can replace the training that’s going to prepare you for the real world. As much as you’d like to hope that you can just forget all of this as soon as you’ve gotten that diploma, the truth is you’re much better off lugging that baggage around. With the constant ghost of a reminder of your past regrets, there’s no way you’ll make the same mistake twice. If you’re praying for the glimpse of light, just know that this tunnel doesn’t end. Just wait until college comes around, or worse yet, the workplace. Those are the unfortunate environments in which you are the prey, surrounded by predators who live for troubling theatrics. “High school” never ends.

If you get out of high school alive, at the very least, you can always fashion your horrible experiences into a movie of your own or find out you have a passion for writing about the arrogant fakes you once knew. Ultimately, providing for those who are addicted to others’ misfortunes, (aka the “predators”), through TV and literature is a smart way to make money, and it gives those sadists their fix. See now, that’s killing two birds with one stone—not only are the “predators” satisfied, but a handsome profit will also be made. Furthermore, expressing oneself through prose and media is a healthy way to laugh off your psychological weight. So stop telling your diary how depressed you are and just publish it already; you might just get famous for it.

The moral of the high school journey is that the best experiences often come from your worst experiences, but only when one takes the initiative to dream nightmares into fairy tales is this evident. Look to the bright side of things. After all, rainbows are made out of rain, and lemonade of lemons.